Please return to....but I can't

What do I do with the word 'hate'?

It is such a strong word and carries a great weight.

My daughter used it earlier this evening.

She was stroppy and huffing about the place, not doing the small things that she had been asked to do before she could do what she wanted to do.

I had asked her nicely, but to no avail.

I asked again and then I shouted.

Maybe I shouldn't have shouted, but I did.

I also told her that we both had chores and that I also had work to do.

She was hungry and tired.

She started to try and make a deal.  She would do the chore if she could watch the telly.

I don't do deals.

I said that I was going to do some work and not make supper (childish I know).

Her response was to say, "I hate you!!!!!"

I just sat there.

It hurt.

Her words hurt me.

I didn't respond.

She came and stood next to me and in my face, saying "mummy".

I told her that her words hurt me.  That they had been said and couldn't be unsaid.

She started to cry and wanted to start the evening over again.

We started a fresh from that point.  It wasn't a do-over, but we moved on.

The trouble is, is that I don't know what to do with that word, hate.

I don't want her to hate me and I don't think she does.

But it hurts when she says that.

Taking 'babe' out for a run

I often talk about language as I grew up with the written word and am very partial to speaking.

(Not that many people listen).

A few months ago, I decided to start using the word 'babe' as a term of endearment.  A dear friend uses it regularly, along with a male friend that I'm close to.  

So I began to use it mainly in texts and then on the phone, but unfortunately it just didn't sound right.

I'm not sure if it is my slightly, very well spoken English or my personality, but it came out all wrong, it did not sit well on my tongue.  

It made me think about the character of the words that we use and why we sub-consciously and consciously choose to utter certain words.

Part of it must come from our childhood and how our family spoke to us and yet, so many of us are 'sheep'.  We go with the trend, the latest hip word as if it were a new style of shoe or jacket.  I remember when Jamie Oliver first came on to the scene, everyone was using 'pucker' and 'wicked' and we were all 'wacking it in the oven'.  And now these words have become much more the norm, until the next time a celeb comes up with a new saying or phrase.

With that being said, I have reverted back to an old favourite, which does roll off the tongue nicely, 'darling'.  I'm not a luvvy sort of person, so it is not 'daaarrrling', but the character of the sound suits me and feels natural.

I don't bandy it around, but those select and wonderful people in my life will continue to be called 'darling' on occasion.

It's what works for me.

So what's your word of choice?

Divide and conquer

It's not really about conquering, but more about diversifying.

One of my goals with this blog, was to explore alternative blogs, blogs that maybe weren't just written by mothers or friends.  I want to see what other people have to say and how they have to say it.

I think mostly, it is about self-expression.

My form of self-expression used to be dance and art, and to some degree it still is.  But over the years, I have found that my love of words and my use of the vernacular has grown and developed.  And this is what I hope to explore further.