Thursday, 28 July 2011

Home alone but not really?

To set the scene, I live in a converted Victorian house.  My flat is perfectly fine and perfectly located for our needs, so no complaints.  On a different floor of the same house is another family with 2 children.  It didn't take us long to become friends and to make use of this friendship.  We bought a baby monitor set and swapped keys.  They go out together as a couple maybe once a week, while I go out twice a week.  Our children have grown up with this system, but recently my mum has started asking if my child is ok with me going out and admittedly, sometimes she does say, "mummy, I don't want you to go out tonight."
But what do I do?  If I stayed in, would that then send the message that she can decide when I go out?  Or should I stay in to be a 'better' mother?  Would this be considered neglect even though my neighbours are listening for her?  Is it any different from hiring a babysitter?  My child loves this family and we are both saving money.  Or does it have nothing to do with my going out but more to do with her father leaving?  Is it the idea of being left?
There are fundamental difficulties in being a single mum and this is once such dilemma.
Does anything have to give?  Or do I continue on as before?
It is something that I need to ruminate on and float about in my mind.

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