Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Please return to....but I can't

What do I do with the word 'hate'?
It is such a strong word and carries a great weight.
My daughter used it earlier this evening.
She was stroppy and huffing about the place, not doing the small things that she had been asked to do before she could do what she wanted to do.
I had asked her nicely, but to no avail.
I asked again and then I shouted.
Maybe I shouldn't have shouted, but I did.
I also told her that we both had chores and that I also had work to do.
She was hungry and tired.
She started to try and make a deal.  She would do the chore if she could watch the telly.
I don't do deals.
I said that I was going to do some work and not make supper (childish I know).
Her response was to say, "I hate you!!!!!"
I just sat there.
It hurt.
Her words hurt me.
I didn't respond.
She came and stood next to me and in my face, saying "mummy".
I told her that her words hurt me.  That they had been said and couldn't be unsaid.
She started to cry and wanted to start the evening over again.
We started a fresh from that point.  It wasn't a do-over, but we moved on.
The trouble is, is that I don't know what to do with that word, hate.
I don't want her to hate me and I don't think she does.
But it hurts when she says that.

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