An empty space where once a friend stood....

It seems that I have indeed been dumped, as I had thought back in my post dated 14th April.

The situations is as follows.

The man my friend is seeing happens to be the ex of someone that I know.

All things being equal, both women were going to attend my birthday gather....a very informal event and more about eating good food then anything.  However my friend has decided that she and her family cannot come and that she cannot keep the other arrangement that we made.  This conversation took place by phone and I was left feeling shaken.  I wanted to cry.  It is that feeling of being unwanted and wondering if I've done something wrong.

It hurts me that she cannot and doesn't want to be there.

I have made so many attempts at doing something with her over the last few months but she seems to be always busy or has a mega-long to-do list that needs finishing.

I've been getting scraps of her time.

We have not done any of the things that we talked about doing, days out with the children, meals out, London walks.  Nothing.

I've known her a long time and this saddens me.

I'm happy that she has met someone that makes her happy and that she has her own circle of friends, but sad that she doesn't feel able to make room in her life for me.

I do wonder if we'll find a way back from this.

Feeling twice dumped

I know, not very up-beat posts lately but in between the posts, life is very fine.

But back to the matter at hand.

Having been dumped after a some-what short relationship with a man, I also feel like one of my dearest friends has done the same.

She started seeing a man in late January and this guy has now been introduced to her children, while I'm really happy for her, I barely get the chance to see her.

Between other newer friends and this man, I seriously feel like she has no time for me.

The thing is, I'm not even asking for a lot of time.  But where we would grab a coffee after school drop off or afternoon tea while the children played together, now nothing.

It's always, "sorry, but I'm meeting _____ (new friend) for coffee" or "sorry, but ______ (new man) is popping over".

I'm coming to the point where I'm wondering how much more effort should I be putting into this friendship.  I feel like the friendship that we had, which has been a strong friendship for the last 8 years is disappearing before my very eyes and I don't know what to do about it.
I wonder if I've done something to offend her?  Or if I've done something wrong?  

I've tried talking with her and she has said that she too feels like there is a gap here, but I don't see any signs of her changing how things are with us.

I do wonder if I'm blowing this out of proportion and whether I should simply be happy that she has found someone.  Am I jealous?  Yes, of course.  I would love to meet someone that I felt strongly enough about to introduce them to my child.  But this isn't it.

She talks about doing stuff but there is never any follow through.  I've suggested new destinations to visit with the children too, but no date is ever set.  Either that or I'm too late.  It's this feeling of being brushed aside.

So what do I do?

Do I do anything?

If so, what?

Or am I just making a mountain out of mole-hill?
I'm missing my friend.

Striking a balance

I am currently finding it difficult to retain a close friendship without feeling squashed.

I have a friend who very recently moved into the area and is now doing a lot of the same things that I am doing and I feel like I am losing my space.

I know it is my own issue and that I need to sort it out, but sometimes, I just want to do my 'fun' stuff on my own.  I want to meet the new people and get to know them.  I'm a single mum and want to have the opportunity to meet a man, but my friend is in the same boat.  She is particularly beautiful and vivacious and I pale in comparison.

I'm not sure how to manage this.  I don't want to lose this friendship and I truly enjoy the closeness of it, but I'm struggling with the adjustment of proximity.  And if I'm really honest, I'm also struggling with a bit of the 'green eyed monster' and my insecurities.

I think I need to remind myself that we are all unique individuals, each with our own wonderful facets and all different to different people, which in theory is all great, but how do I put it into practice?

Ahhhh.....help.